Arrows, Part 4 – Sermon Notes

Guest speaker – Dan Southerland, pastor from West Side Family Church

Previous: Aim, Release, Rhythm

Remaining: Opponets, Work, Sacred

Today’s word: Work

Parenting is hard work. Three groups, 1. Parents with kids at home. 2. Parents whose children have left the house. (Parenting doesn’t end when the kids leave the house.) 3. Don’t have kids, may not know if they even will have kids. (Most people will have kids, so it’s wise to listen. )

Good parents are made not born. It’s a twenty (thirty?) year building project.

Parenting mindset:

  • Raising kids: not enough
  • Raising adults: closer
  • Raising parents: getting there
  • Raising disciples: bingo!

Four ways to work smart as a parent

1. Know your kids.

Learning doesn’t begin where the teacher is, it begins where the student is.

Parenting doesn’t begin where the parent is, it begins where the child is.

We often parent based on how we were parented. Parenting should be based on each child, instead, and may change with each child. We work with the child based on the age of a child and their learning style.

Some children learn from wisdom: learning from the experience of others. They can watch what others do and make wise choices from there.

Some children learn from consequences. Watching someone touch a hot stove means they want to touch it too.

2. Get outside help.

Great players known the value old of coaching. If you could solve all your kids problems, it’d be already fixed. Grandparents, successful parents, truth telling friends, spiritual mentors – all make great coaches.

3. Stay humble not haughty.

Humility is not thinking less of yourself; humility is thinking of yourself less. In our culture, we have many idols, one being that we .ake an idol of our kids. We want to use our kids to compensate for own our failures or to make us look like awesome parents. Stay humble and admit when you don’t know something and keep your perspective on Christ.

4. Broadcast your love.

Make sure your kids know that there is nothing they can do to lose your love. Never use withdrawing your love or your presence as a form of punishment.

Your kids are going to become who you are. You need to become the kind of person that you want to your kids to be. Work at becoming that person. One of the best gifts you can give your kids is who you become.

Arrows, Part 2 – Sermon Notes


Arrows are meant to fly. No matter how good your aim or how good your technique, if you don’t let go of the arrow, you’ll never hit your target.

1. The point of parenting is a propulsion system, not a prison system. We need to fight back against being the warden and more like Kennedy Space Center. We should use our security in order to keep the wrong people out so the right thing can be released effectively.

2. Each child has a mission. Menoah is the father of Samson. When the angel tells him he’ll have a son, he asks “What will be his manner of life and what is to be his mission?” We should be conscious of working with the Lord to help them find their purpose and teach them how to use their gifts.

3. A clean release is the result of Godly stewardship. The moment that you realize God’s unconditional love and His grace it changes things. Nothing that we own or anything we’ve accomplished is our own. We came into this world naked and screaming with nothing and that’s how we’ll leave as well. One day we’ll be held accountable for how we stewardess our gifts. Our children our one of the gifts we’ve been given. We will be held accountable for how we’ve supported and released that gift.

4. At the end of the day, the only hope we have of keeping them, is to let them go. There’s no way to guarantee a child will serve the Lord. The book of Proverbs tells us that raising a child in the way he should go and he will not depart from it when it he is old. That’s wisdom and not a promise. We have to learn how to teach them without forcing love or forcing choices on them.

Remember, unless the Lord builds a house, the builders labor on vain. We can’t do this parenting thing, but the Lord can.